I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
