I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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