If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
