3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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