as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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