i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
