apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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