The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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