Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
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the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
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Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that