Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Found the puke drawer
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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