Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
