I wish I could teleport
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
