I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
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