He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize