She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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