$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
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Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
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Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize