I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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