I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Couch. On fire.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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