well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
