I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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