My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
