did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize