I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
