if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
