ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
