I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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