A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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