the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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