weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize