I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
