You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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