I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
