Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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