Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
