my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
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She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
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5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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