whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Welp...herpes.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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