i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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