no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
