I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
