I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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