U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
