hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
