She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Even my vagina gasped.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
