I just pynch a tree in the face
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Acid is not a monday night drug
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Girls should come with a carfax report
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
