So drunk its hurt
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
