Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
