just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
