it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
