The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
