batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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