I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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