If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
