I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We were destined to go to rehab together
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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