Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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