so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
