WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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