OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
