I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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